jiaying. (:
fifth april.

family, friends & dance

HCMAD<3 07S79 adeline ann audrey ainan bertilla charmaine cherylchang clarice estelle ezra huitian jess jiayi jiayun joanne kelvin liuqian meiling mianrong mieoteng nicholas nicole qianying ruixiong sherene serene shionyee siyu stacy tisiana tingyu thomas vanessagoh xianhuan xiyu xueen yueyang yunning
Designer Basecodes
AdobePhotoshop

Archives:
May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 December 2013 June 2014 August 2015

let's chase the summer and forget the world.

is it mood swings or what?

i hate it when everytime the topic of dance comes up, i will feel so much anger at myself for failing to even have the courage to try. on the other hand, i know i know how freaking much it will hit me if i fail. im such a loser. seriously. you gotta admit it. after so long. oh my freaking god. i miss dance alot :(

i have been indulging in my daily few episodes of gong xin ji ever since the last few days of the holidays, now then i realised it was possibly just to mask having to think about everything else. about how inadequate i am. i guess somehow somewhere along the way i've learn to face it. but still, i cant help feeling depressed whenever it comes to mind. i guess its possible that after my whole life, i will still feel the same. what a freaking loser who does not dare to do any freaking thing. i have the excuse that the fear of failure haunts me. continuously.

its easy how you can tell someone to just try. like it doesnt hurt. but you dontknow, if i fail, you dontknow how much it will kill. its not like i've never experienced it before. i really never want to feel that again.

right now, i REALLY WISH I CAN
dance
drive
stop doubting everything i see and stop having to force myself to put on a front and stop having to worry about every single thing and how people will look at me and freaking have some confidence


on a sidenote, i just came back from my mom's birthday celebration. brought her to town to take a look at ION cause she hasnt been in orchard for ages. and somerset 313. we ate at shokudo cause i know she hasnt experienced it before. brought her to eat bigO's spikeD durian cake cause she loves durian. i love you mommy <3
you are the greatest. i know whatever that i encounter outside, i can always come home to you. in front of you, i can be as ugly as i wanna be. i can sulk and whine. even though you'll ignore me, but at least i can do that. and i know that even if you scold me, the next morning you'll still wake me up as usual cause you're scared i'll be late for school. to you, i'm always kinda great. not exactly great, but KINDA. like at least i do have some attributes to boast of.


what a choice of word. ugly??

im a freaking 20 year old this year. TWENTY. TWENTY. i always thought that age means you're an adult? then why on earth do i still feel like a child. im going to be twenty. can i have some control over my life.